Movie Review: TED (2012) Starring Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis

People have been telling me for weeks now that I need to watch and review Ted as it’s one of the funniest movies they have ever seen. My brother and brother-in-law were almost telling me the script line for line when we were doing a house move (not mine, and no, that’s not what I do for a living, you have to help out family right?) last weekend. Also I have seen a lot of comments on Facebook with various friends of mine stating that Ted is the funniest movie they have ever seen. Critics have bigged it up whilst others have panned it. I posted the trailer some time ago now and wasn’t that interested due to the Seth MacFarlane factor. Now, please join me for what will be a very short (no pun intended Ted) write up on this absolute pile of shite.

Starring: Seth MacFarlane (Voice), Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Giovanni Ribisi and Bill Smitrovich

The Plot

John Bennett (Wahlberg) is a lonely kid growing up in the 80’s with no friends, at Christmas he makes a wish on a falling star that his teddy bear named Teddy would come to life. Hey presto, wouldn’t you believe it? The next morning he wakes up and the two begin a beautiful friendship before scaring the crap out of John’s parents. Jump forward fifteen years or so and Teddy is now named Ted, a washed out celebrity phenomenon bear who loves nothing better than sitting getting stoned at 9am with his best friend John, not only does he like drugs he also partakes in copious amounts of alcohol consumption, loose women and pretty much anything else you can think of that’s bad for your health.

The Verdict

Mark Wahlberg is a pretty easy going guy, and I’d say that’s a pretty good job for this movie, Ted really does just go to show that Wahlberg clearly does not need the money anymore, and maybe he just likes to indulge in his crazy side every now and again. Whalberg is a great actor in my opinion, more the kick ass type I’ll admit but personally I really enjoy the movies he does like that, most recent of which would be Contraband. Quite why he offers to star in trash like this is beyond me if I’m honest.

Maybe it’s just age, I don’t know, now I’m in my 30’s I just found this comedy totally ridiculous. I’ve no doubt teenagers or people in their early twenties (my brother) will think that this trash is utterly hilarious, a bear who swears a lot, takes drugs and makes very derogatory sexual remarks towards women, there is no real story here not least that you can’t see coming anyway. John’s girlfriend wants Ted rid off and then ultimately wants him back in their lives, I know it’s not real but come on give me a break. Who would you rather have in your bed? A foul mouthed bear who is scared of thunder or Mila Kunis? It’s a difficult decision but I know which one I’d be choosing, and it ain’t the bear.

Quite often with movies these days they say if you have seen the trailer then you have seen the movie, and they are right. Most of the time these days most of the movies best bits are in the trailer, whilst the remaing almost two hours has very little to offer the audience. I can report that unsurprisingly Ted is one of those movies, drunken sexual jokes can only go so far and all you need to do is check out the Ted Red Band trailer and you will see every joke that this bear has to offer. I will admit that during my first viewing of the trailer I laughed, even though I don’t like Seth MacFarlane. Second time I saw the trailer I still laughed, however on this occasion I simply sat and watched, bored with the comedy on offer in need of much more intelligent laughs.

Would I watch it again?

Really?? No

 

SyFy Movie Review: JERSEY SHORE SHARK ATTACK Starring Melissa Molinaro

Ok, yeah I know. I’ve gone and done it again, but even with a feast of other (and better - probably) movies on offer I just couldn’t bring myself to reach for the Blu-ray player when I saw a movie with a title like Jersey Shore Shark Attack. Made for SyFy movies have a certain pull for me, often promoted in the horror or thriller genre, they actually turn out to be comedy gems which give you plenty of cheap laughs at the crappy budget, production, directing and editing. JSSA has it all and to top that off they are not only taking the p**s out of a 1979 classic but they will also have you believe that some actors taking the p**s out of the real life Jersey Shore reality show residents are going to be eaten by sharks, but on that note I wouldn’t hold your breath.

Starring – Jack Scalia, Jeremy Luke, Joey Russo, Daniel Booko, Melissa Molinaro and Paul Sorvino

The Plot

Do you really need me to explain it? Ok, I will, basically Jersey Shore comes under attack from Sharks, not just any sharks though, these are Albino sharks, brought to the area thanks to some underwater drilling, a man goes missing and the local geek squad think that it’s a shark attack, they plead with the local mayor to close the beach but, like in 1979, he refuses. Next thing the have a full blooded shark massacre on their hands and the local geek squad must team up with the much cooler (but still geeks) squad to help rid Jersey Shore of the Albino Bull sharks. Now I know what you’re thinking, can you get Albino sharks? Well, a quick Google search reveals that, yes you can. So keep reading it’s not so ridiculous after all.

The Verdict

Shark!

Now without doubt the funniest moment in this entire movie is the part which I believe was in the trailer (although I’ve never seen it), the scene includes the now washed up former N-Sync star Joey Fatone who unlike his N-Sync counterpart Justin Timberlake finds himself booked for all the wrong gigs, he is hired to sing at the 4^th of July celebration weekend in Jersey Shore and just as he’s serenading the crowed a shark leaps out the water and takes him off the jetty, I have to be honest, I laughed my ass off even before I realised that it was Joey Fatone, now for the rest of this shark fest pile of shi…….
 

I seem to have set myself up with this strange affiliation of low budget (edit: extremely low budget) SyFy movies again, Jersey Shore Shark Attack is the latest comedy thriller to come from the made from TV horror genre. I have never seen Jersey Shore on MTV, but I have seen its North East England counterpart Geordie Shore and I can only imagine that this movie is some sort of over hyped reality show where people pretend to be chased by sharks. You probably won’t believe this, I certainly didn’t after fifteen minutes, but I switched off Batman Begins for this trash, right when the trashy kids were bringing down the shore whilst the posh Yacht kids were complaining about it. This far in I want to say, I have seen some pretty bad made for TV movies, and some pretty decent one’s in fact, but Jersey Shore Shark Attack is by far the worst of the lot. Oh, wait it just got worse, the Yacht club kid decided to come and talk to the “so called” cool juice monkey kid, they have become involved in the worst playground fight I have ever seen. The stupidest chase ever, I’m wondering why I’m even still watching?

THE SHARKS: Have you ever seen Deep Blue Sea? You know, the movie with L.L. Cool J? The sharks in that movie are pretty unreal and that managed to get a theatre release here in England, probably due to the fact that Samuel L’Jackson starred in the movie. This pile of shit from SyFy doesn’t quite prosper from the same dedication actor wise, in fact looking right now I’m pretty sure the girl who I suppose is the lead is some sort of Kim Kardashian wannabe.

It’s funny that every shark movie, if only low budget shark movie takes something away from Jaws, the 1979 classic produced by Richard Zanuck, but this is just a complete low budget rip off that if the Jaws producers saw they would be saying, “hey, that’s the same rocky pier we used, the shark fin comes exactly the same way, what are you playing at copying our movie?” I’d say let them copy it all they want because this utter trash can do proper movies no harm what so ever.

You can imagine already with my reference to the reality show of Jersey Shore that the people involved in this movie are all your muscle bound type, especially the guys. It got so hilarious at one point during the scene on the rocks which was clearly ripped off from Jaws that this movie was just awful. The muscle bound buffoon decided that when a load of the sharks are swimming towards the bay that he should feed them with his 25gm protein bars which he never leaves the house without, now I work out, but leaving the house without a protein bar especially the way that guy looked is all a little far-fetched for me. And to think the (fake) computer animated shark actually fell for it is even more laughable.

ALBINO SHARKS? That’s not my opinion, that’s how the Bull shark is referred to in this movie, actually writing this little bit I discovered that Paul Sorvino stars in this movie, not know him? You should, this guy is legendary probably best remembered for his part in 1990 gangster movie Goodfellas as Paul Cicero, he must have been bored the weekend they filmed this or he lives just on the filming location, essentially he plays the part of the mayor in Jaws, he opens the beaches against the gangs (Chief Brody wannabe's) wishes.

After forty minutes of this movie I’m pumped, not in the gym sense of things (it is 25 to 1 (am) after all). I feel like Dexter Morgan right now? No, not in that way! I mean I have had a lack of blogging enthusiasm lately and seem in the last week to have got that enthusiasm back. Things are bad in this movie and Dexter always reacts best when the situation is bad, I have hope I have done that here by completely trashing this shitty B-Movie, I stopped by a website once that said every bad movie has a good point, on Jersey Shore Shark Attack I can’t agree with that at all.

Smile stupid fish, clearly replaced yet another line stolen from Jaws. "Smile you son of a bitch".

Would I watch it again?

Erm, No, but I think you got that already.

 

Blu-Ray Movie Review: MONEYBALL Starring Brad Pitt and Jonah Hill

My latest LOVEFiLM rental landed through the door earlier in the week and it’s a movie which has been sitting on my “to watch” list for quite some time now, Moneyball, the story of pro Baseball team the Oakland A’s and their general manager Billy Beane.  There are a couple of reasons I wanted to watch this movie which I will get into below but just in case you get bored before then, you should know that the main reason is because the Oakland A’s have a very similar policy to my team Newcastle United in how they scout players with future sustainability in mind.

Starring: Brad Pitt, Jonah Hill, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Robin Wright, Chris Pratt and Kerris Dorsey

The Plot

Brad Pitt plays Billy Beane the general manager of the Oakland A’s Baseball team, the movie picks up in the last game of the pro league 2001 season when the New York Yankees beat them in the World Series (I think). We then roll into the 2002 season with Beane loosing his star players and having to start from scratch in building up another team on a wage budget which is nowhere near big enough to compete with the teams at the top. Beane decides that conventional scouting methods are no longer working and after his latest attempt at a signing goes awry he employs Peter Brand (Jonah Hill) as his assistant general manager, stops listening to what the scouts are telling him and drafts players based on statistics. This leads to the Oakland A’s equalling the record of the most consecutive games won by any pro league Baseball team.

The Verdict

I have to be honest here, Moneyball is not generally the type of movie that I’d watch, a heavy drama with a lot of dialogue, not that I mind that I just think sometimes when a film is over two hours long I may get a little bored of sitting watching people talking. There are a couple of reasons I wanted to watch Moneyball, first off was the story, a very similar one in sporting terms to that of the football club I support in England. Newcastle United have done a very similar thing to the Oakland A’s Baseball team, not in using statistics to pick players but deciding on developing their own players as well as scouting out talent on the cheap that can be sold on for profit in future seasons.

I knew very little about what the Oakland A’s and their general manager Billy Beane (Bard Pitt) had done or achieved, that’s mainly due to the fact that I know absolutely nothing about the sport of Baseball, one of my old bosses went to see a Baseball game when he was in America, he told me if I ever wanted to be bored stiff for three hours then Baseball was a sure fired way of making that happen. I read the story of the Oakland A’s when the movie was due for release and I posted the trailer, right then I could see similarities between what they had done and what Newcastle United were doing. Objective achieved on both sides of the pond I suppose because Oakland A’s are now the model of how a pro league Baseball team should be run, same goes for Newcastle United. Other clubs in both professions are looking to adopt models set up by either club in order to obtain financial sustainability and a degree of success on the pitch.

As for the movie, I have to say I enjoyed it, I was toying with the idea of not watching it but decided to give it a go, before I knew it I was nearly an hour in. We all know Brad Pitt can act but it’s a while since I’ve watched him in anything and I have to say I was very impressed with his ability, even when just sitting in silence on the screen he really put across the stress he was going through, it was delivered brilliantly by Pitt who done an outstanding job of displaying a character who could at first see things unravelling before his eyes whilst at the same time remaining confident to his doubters, most notably the Oakland A’s manager Art Howe (Philip Seymour Hoffman) who again done a brilliant job with his character, but even at the conclusion of the movie with the success the team have had he still does not agree with using statistics to draft players.

A massive nod is due here for Jonah Hill who plays Peter Brand in the movie, the Oakland A’s assistant general manager, a Yale graduate who designed the computer program that would statistically analyse every Baseball player in the league. Apparently getting on 1^st base is important, I have no idea what that means but clearly this young kid did. Jonah Hill is well known for playing hilarious comedy roles, which of course he is very good at but you have to take your hat off to the guy here as he proves that his acting ability goes far beyond that of a funny man portrayed in movies like Knocked Up.

I’d say that Moneyball can be enjoyed whether you’re a Baseball fan or not, clearly I’m not but the movie is based more on the characters, the dialogue and how the stresses took their toll before ultimately paying off in the long run. It should probably be noted that the Oakland A’s are yet to win the World Series in Baseball but the Boston Red Sox, who adopted their policy and offered Billy Beane $12.5m (which he turned down) to help them implement his model have now gone on to win the World Series. I only hope it pays off for Newcastle United and we go and win the Premier League, what do you think fellow Geordies?

Would I watch it again?

I’d have to say that I would be looking at other more action/thriller type movie options first, although the story and acting from all involved was very good, it was pretty tough going at over two hours long.

 

Movie Review: MAD MAX 2 THE ROAD WARRIOR Starring Mel Gibson

If you have been reading my scribbles for a while now then you’ll know that I used to spend quite a bit of my time on Hubpages, there I wrote a “Hub” on the Best 80’s action movies, following the hub I was asked a couple of questions as to why certain movies were no included at the time. One of those just happened to be The Road Warrior, which I thought I hadn’t heard of, turns out I had, only here in England it was named Mad Max 2. The reason it wasn’t mentioned there was the fact that I hadn’t seen the movie, now thanks to much push from regular reader and commenter Ruben I have finally got round to it and have the review here for you now.

Starring: Mel Gibson, Bruce Spence, Michael Preston, Vernon Wells and Virginia Hey

The Plot

Former police officer Max Rockatansky (Mel Gibson) is drifting his way across the rugged Australian landscape following a nuclear war, with nothing left to live for he finds himself on the hunt and in a daily battle for now priceless fuel which he faces off against other scavengers for. On his travels Max runs across a gang of outlaws one of whom he kills, they are laying siege to a local village which has a wealthy fuel reserve which they want control of. With no options left Max agrees to help the community and local feral kid escape the lawless gang of looters.

The Verdict

I think I’m maybe 30 years to late on this movie, as action movies go I think I have now seen many more which are far superior, don’t get me wrong for 1981 which is when this movie was released I can see why it has been given much acclaim over the years, but considering I was not even born in 1981 this is just a little before my time, I still enjoyed the movie but its one I’m pleased to have watched during the day as apposed to a Saturday night entertainment flick.

I read a few reviews of The Road Warrior after watching it and can agree with them, one mentions that it is very un-Hollywood, and yes it is, probably why it didn’t make the best of list which I mentioned above, there are no over the top action sequences, no over the top explosions everything is dealt with on a very basic level keeping special effects to a bear minimum, very easy to do I’d imagine when in the middle of the Australian outback, not many people would be able to hear what you are up to out there. They also mention that its one of the best movies to come out of Australia, since I know precious little about movies which come out of Australia I again agree.

I have actually struggled to find one person who says that they did not enjoy this movie, and that’s from people of all ages, like I said I enjoyed it and I have to agree with everyone else on the Internet about the final car chase (good to see nitrous oxide was invented before Vin Disel came along), it was epic and when that dude popped up from the front grill just as the feral kid went to get the bullets I certainly jumped a little. Mel Gibson is brilliant, I enjoyed this more than the last movie of Mel’s I watched but in terms of overall enjoyment for me the original Lethal Weapon and it's follow-up win the day.

The Road Warrior did make me chuckle a couple of times, The Gyro-Captain (Bruce Spence) is a pretty funny guy and when Max originally took him hostage I thought it was a pretty funny scene as the dog had a bone in his mouth which was attached to the trigger of the gun pointing at his head, however the Gyro-Captain was later to learn that the gun never had any bullets in it.

A quick glance at the top 5 I picked from the 80’s just in case you don’t want to follow the link above and read my reasoning in full, in no particular order;

Commando (1985)

Die Hard (1988)

Terminator (1984)

Lethal Weapon (1987)

First Blood (1982)

For me personally I don’t think Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior was as enjoyable as any of those movies, maybe if I had seen it back in the day, I don’t know.

Would I watch it again?

Even though some reviews I’ve read say it’s a movie which should be watched twice I don’t feel any particular need to go watch this over again.

 

Movie Review: THE BOURNE LEGACY - Guest Post

From the opening sequences of Calgary Alberta’s snow-swept mountain ranges to later panoramic shots of the Philippines crystal blue waters, director Tony Gilroy holds nothing back in presenting us with an absolute visual feast as we are taken along through his masterful, quasi-adaptation of Robert Ludlum’s novel of the same name.

Joining the cast this time around and no stranger to the action genre is Jeremy Renner, taking on the role of Aaron Cross. This is Renner at his absolute best. Nothing is overdone as he artfully portrays what could otherwise be the stereotypical top-secret government spy role. Renner is joined by Rachel Weisz who plays Dr. Marta Shearing. Weisz does her best to encapture the emotion of Shearing, who’s whole world is turned inside-out as she is thrown into a deadly brew of government cover-up and espionage, but ultimately falls short to Renner. Weisz seems to get lost in her portrayal of concern and distress. Instead of evoking a sense of empathy, she often appears remedial and repetitive and her features only shift slightly in her plight to escape the films antagonist, Eric Byer played by Edward Norton. Norton does a remarkable job with what is given to him. Instead of being an archetype to the villain role, Norton is able to emulate a man who is without grudge and simply tasked with doing his job for the CIA.

The Bourne Legacy starts with Aaron Cross, agent number 5, making his way across craggy mountainscapes on a training mission to rendezvous with another fellow Outcome (this film’s Treadstone) agent, Number 3, played by Oscar Isaac. However, things go wrong when Byer initiates the termination of all Outcome agents as to quell a potential high-level government foible. A drone is dispatched to eliminate both Cross and Number 3 and through auspicious chance, Cross is able to escape. Gilroy handles this and the rest of the movies action sequences adeptly. Explosions aren’t overplayed and the chase scenes (one in particular clocking in just at 20 minutes) aren’t derivative or tacky.

Meanwhile Eric Byer works with a team of CIA agents as they attempt eliminate Cross who has come to the rescue of Shearing, another casualty of the Outcome cover-up. From here, and just as with the other entries into the series, the film takes us abroad. To the surfeited neon streets of the ritzy Gangnam suburb of Seoul to the impoverished alley-ways of Manilla, Gilroy makes the newest entry into the franchise feel right at home amongst its globe-trotting predecessors. The same grittiness of Gilroy’s Michael Clayton is present here and Renner does an amazing job at conveying that there is always something more complex and serious going on underneath the iconic intensity he brings to all of his roles.

Legacy does not hold anything back in its action. Throughout the film’s numerous fight sequences, Gilroy skillfully manages to hold his audience’s suspension of disbelief. Whether Cross is bounding over the steel roofs of Manila in pursuit of the ever-distressed Shearing or performing the most complex set of martial arts maneuver s you’ve ever seen, we are right there with him, cheering him on. The science behind Outcome’s genetic meddling is just credible enough for us to not question whichever wildly, teetering on over-the-top, direction Cross and Shearing careen into next.

One can’t help but wonder how many more films can arise from this franchise without the presence of, well…Bourne. Regardless, Bourne or no Bourne the latest edition into the franchise achieves just what it set out to do. Deliver an intelligent, sharp and thought-out action film. It seems that in stepping out of his writing shoes Tony Gilroy has found the perfect fit in directing and if his first stroll in the Bourne franchise is any litmus test, he’ll be wearing them for quite a while.

Zack Mandell is a movie enthusiast, writer of movie reviews, and owner of www.movieroomreviews.com which has great information on actors such as Jeremy Renner. He writes extensively about the movie industry for sites such as Gossip Center, Yahoo, NowPublic, and Helium.

Blu-ray Movie Review: THE NEXT THREE DAYS Felt Like The Next Three Weeks

Getting time to myself on days off seems to becoming more of a regular occurrence lately, this is the second time in the last few weeks where I’ve had some time to kick back and relax, what did I do with that time? I took it upon myself to watch my latest LOVEFiLM rental The Next Three Days, a movie which I’ve heard plenty good things about but never really felt that inclined to watch. Turns out my initial thought was probably the right one because although this movie tells a very good story I just didn’t really enjoy it all that much.

Starring: Russell Crowe, Elizabeth Banks, Liam Neeson, Ty Simpkins and Michael Buie

The Plot

John Brennan (Crowe) is your everyday average guy, a school teacher who comes home to his loving wife and son every night for the perfect family life. That is until one day police storm the house and arrest his wife Lara (Banks) for the murder of her boss, with the evidence of fingerprints and motive stacked against Lara she takes the easy way out and attempts suicide whilst locked up in prison. Losing all faith in the American justice system and believing his wife to be innocent John devises a plan to break Lara out so they can all be together again as a family.

The Verdict

So, John Brennan breaks bad, just like Walter White (Bryan Cranston) in AMC’s Breaking Bad, mild mannered school teacher Brennan is thrown into a situation which forces him to become a bad ass guy who carries a gun and makes shady deals in dodgy neighbourhoods. Don’t take all that as great though, although the action towards the end of this movie is Die Hard like neo noir, the plot takes to long to set up and at over two hours long I fear you may get bored.

Since watching this movie I’ve seen a whole host of reviews, some good, some bad, some mediocre. I have to agree with the latter “mediocre” would sum this movie up pretty good, I wouldn’t say I was blown away at all and like I’ve mentioned in the title of this post it really felt like the movie was longer than it needed to be, for me by the time we got to the main meat of the story I was bored and frankly didn’t really care anymore. I don’t think it’s because The Next Three Days has a bad story line I just think that maybe I’m more inclined to watch a more explosive thriller of a movie, Russell Crowe in Gladiator for instance.

I wouldn’t say that I’m a massive fan of Russell Crowe but he does do a very, very good job in this movie and shows how good of an actor he really is. His co-star and wife Elizabeth Banks is also brilliant, I don’t know to much about her but she is very good and very attractive. I didn’t see much point in Liam Neeson’s role here, the only man who ever escaped the prison where Crowe’s wife is holed up, I like Neeson I really, really do but for what he done here anyone could have played the role really. I’ve seen this movie likened to 1993’s The Fugitive starring Harrison Ford, for me that movie and its follow up US Marshall's were better, or at least I enjoyed them more.

It's not a bad movie, nor is it a bad story but I think they could have done with reining in the length of it a little.

Would I watch it again?

At over two hours long with a very deep plot I don’t think I would watch this again, I don’t think there would be anything to see that I didn’t catch first time around and I always have plenty other movies to watch. So, no is the short answer to that one.

 

Movie Review: DIE HARD 4.0 LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD Starring Bruce Willis

Yeah, sorry I haven’t been around for the last couple of days, but hey, I do have other stuff to do in the “real world” away from this blogging lark. Never mind normality of posting should restore soon (next week) as all the good TV is about to start. Come here often? Then you know that I have not been watching much TV lately, still though I have had plenty of movies to get through including this surprise addition to the Die Hard franchise which I originally saw a few years ago, this time around I caught it on TV and have to say I enjoyed it every bit as much as I did the first time round.
 
Starring: Bruce Willis, Justin Long, Timothy Olyphant and Maggie Q
 
The Plot
 
It’s yet another boring day at the office for New York veteran detective John McClane, that is until the FBI don’t have anyone around in their local field office to go pick up a computer hacker who may be responsible for hacking their Cyber Crime Division. Who gets the job? You guessed it, John McClane, however law enforcement are not the only people after young computer Hacker Farrell (Justin Long) who helped a psycho cyber terrorist out with some computer code which would help him pretty much shut down the US. Arriving at the scene to pick up Farrell shots begin to get fired, McClane gets the kid out but is the new technology involved all a little to much for him?
 
The Verdict
 
First off, is it just me or does Bruce Willis keep getting cooler the older he gets? A 50 something guy who still kicks serious ass and shouts Yippe Ki Yay Motherf***** like he is in his early 30’s. You gotta hand it to Bruce the guy can still kick it with the kids and teach them a thing or two about being cool while he’s at it.
 

As for Die Hard 4.0, or Live Free or Die Hard, depending on whether or not you watched the American release of the movie, you get pretty much what you would expect from a Die Hard movie, loads of action along with some witty one liners. Willis, as we know is good at the one line comedy act, add in funny man Justin Long then you have a pretty good winning formula, especially as Long shows here that he is no one trick pony, action, comedy, drama, he can handle them all and does a great job in this movie. It’s a proper action movie just like the original Die Hard franchise, only this time its been updated to give it that 21st century feel. It doesn’t take that feel over the top though, the CGI is handled well and most of the combat action is done hand to hand as it would have been in the originals with people doing real stunts, it certainly adds to the realism.
 
In an action movie you need a good bad guy, or girl of course and in Die Hard 4.0 we are provided with both. I’ll be honest I’m not the biggest Timothy Olyphant fan, here the guy does ok but he is more the stand and shout the order to his “runners” with guns type of guy. The real bad girl kick ass action comes of course from Maggie Q, she has done it plenty times before (see Nikita and Mission Impossible III) and certainly hands Mr Willis his ass on a plate in this movie. Maggie is the real villain here for me, Mr Olyphant is way to posh to pull this kind of stuff off, although he is very good a staring intensely at things or people.
 
I say this all the time when doing movie reviews but here it is again, if its a popcorn Saturday night on the sofa you want and you can’t be bothered to use your brain to much then Die Hard 4.0 will be right up your street.
 
Would I watch it again?
 
Oh yes, you can be sure of that.

More evidence that Bruce Willis is a funny guy.

Sorry about the quality;

Movie Review: BLITZ (2011) Starring Jason Statham

Blitz is a movie which I have known about for a good while now, and to be honest I’ve never really felt the urge to watch it, mainly because it’s a British movie and typically the sort of thing I don’t care for to much. However thanks to the folks down at Lovefilm HQ this ended up being my latest Blu-ray rental. I found myself with a couple of free hours (unusually) the other day and decided to take advantage giving Jason Statham’s latest (almost) kick ass action fest a run for its money.

Starring: Jason Statham, Paddy Considine, Aidan Gillen, Zawe Ashton, David Morrissey and Luke Evans

The Plot

Jason Statham plays Detective Sergeant Tom Brandt, a cop who has nothing in his life other than alcohol, currently suffering from what he describes as blackouts he is in therapy after catching three youths trying to break into his car, Brandt decides that to arrest them just isn’t enough and proceeds to beat the youths to within an inch of their life with a hockey stick. Then things get worse as there is a cop killer on the loose and he seems to be targeting the station where Brandt works, problem is they know who the perpetrator is, they just need to find the evidence to charge him.

The Verdict

If it’s realism that you are after, then in terms of violence and what London “really” looks like Blitz will serve you very well, it’s a gritty dark humoured police thriller with Jason Statham doing what he does best, putting on a gruff voice, drinking and kicking ass whilst hurling abuse at his superiors. However that’s where the realism in Blitz ends, don’t get me wrong it was a very enjoyable movie and coming from someone who doesn’t normally like British East End type flicks that’s saying something, but what Blitz didn’t get right was the scenes with the police.

Aidan Gillen (Game of Thrones / The Wire) is brilliant as the psychotic villain, he comes across really well, but its just a shame that a little more of why he turned out wanting to kill cops wasn’t involved at the beginning, my guess would be that he is a no one, a loner who simply wanted to make a name for himself. Thing is Gillen is the Blitz, or at least that’s the nickname he affords himself and after he dispatches three cops he is arrested, now one killing was dead of night, no witnesses, the other through the day, loads of witness, both of those are shots to the head. His final one before arrest, bludgeoning the Chief Inspector with a hammer, he then proceeds to be sick all over him. Police complain when the Blitz is allowed to walk free, as they have no solid evidence.

Realism? I don’t think so, first off The Blitz is arrested for the murder of three cops, the clothing he is wearing would be seized from him before he is placed into a police cell, here he wears the same clothing all the way through with no hint they are going to seize it. Second, he has fifty grand cash on him, police know he does not work and therefore has no means to be carrying that sort of money, it would be seized from him under the proceeds of crime act and weather charged or not he wouldn’t be given it back. Third, the biggest mistake of all, the one which would have put him in prison, DNA, yes, the police claimed to have none, hold on, after killing the chief he was sick on him, isn’t that DNA? Crime solved.

Don’t let any of that put you off, I suppose you could say I spoke to someone in the know, or maybe not. Blitz is actually a really good cop thriller, especially for a British movie, unlike Hollywood there are no brash over the top action sequences or explosions just good old hard as nails kick arse, but even Statham shows that his acting abilities extend beyond that of a martial arts expert as his dialogue in this movie is actually pretty good, especially with his superior Detective Sergeant Porter Nash (Paddy Considine, The Bourne Ultimatum).

To cap it off if its A-List Hollywood kick ass you are after then Blitz probably won’t cut it, you’d be far better off watching Statham in The Mechanic or The Transporter, but if you care for gritty darkly humours drama thrillers then Blitz will be right up your street.

The Music

Brilliant actually, really raw and grimy garage mixed with some techno, primarily used during the chase scenes, the opening title music is particularly gripping, and sets you up well for 1 hour and 30 minutes of good old fun.

Would I watch it again?

You know what? I think I would, Blitz is something you can stick on and not have to think to vigorously about, and I enjoyed it.

A Review of "MOONRISE KINGDOM" - Guest Post

Capturing young love with the use of a camera is a tricky business. Few directors have ever been able to encapsulate the spirit of it with such grace and intelligence. To be clear, when I say young love, I don’t mean young adult. Brilliant films such as "Say Anything" and "Sixteen Candles" have not only proved to be successful, but indeed spawned an entire generation of new romantics. When I say young love, I mean during the awkward prepubescent stage of our lives we all know so well, when our interest in the opposite sex teeters between curiosity and immature taunting. Few filmmakers have been able to conjure a film so elegantly about this kind of romance without being pandering or, in some cases, kind of creepy. Then again, most filmmakers don’t possess the skills and the cinematic prowess that current hipster darling Wes Anderson has, and was able to employ for his new stunner "Moonrise Kingdom."

The director of such new millennium masterpieces as "The Royal Tenenbaums" and "Fantastic Mr. Fox" has crafted one of the best films of his young, yet already storied career with this charming and deeply personal tale about two young outcasts who run far away from the families and the society that disapproves of their misanthropic manners and pursue their romance. Sam (Jared Gilman) and Suzy (Kara Hayward) meet when he awkwardly confronts her after her performance in a school play and asks her a series of unconventional questions. Her interested is immediately piqued, and they commence a pen pal relationship for a long period of time. The two children, both of whom are products of broken homes, decide to build their own version of paradise, from which the nomenclature of the film derives. Conflict arises when the young lovers are aggressively pursued by Sam’s boy scout troop, Suzy’s well to do attorney parents and a caring and similarly tragically lovestruck police officer (Bruce Willis).

In many respects, even more so than "Tenenbaums," this feels like the picture Anderson was born to make. His idiosyncratic stylings, which sometimes can be disarming, are welcome and perfectly congruent to his themes. The quirky humor is on full display here, utilizing Anderson’s typical casting of Bill Murray (playing Suzy’s aloof father) and oddball characteristics, including Suzy’s mother’s use of a bullhorn in order to communicate with the family. As well as with other Anderson films, the visual style is reminiscent of what one would find in a children’s storybook.

If anything is different here, it’s the optimism. Anderson’s films are notorious for dwelling on themes such as manic depression, lost love and social isolation, despite how cutesy and hilarious they are. There aren’t too many directors who would be bold enough to insert an unnerving suicide scene into an ostensible comedy. Yet without the use of grand operatics and corny dialogue, Anderson has conjured a sweet tart of a romantic comedy, meant to stir the nostalgia of all who watch. There’s no love quite as your first love, consummated or not. This film is delicate and touching.

Of course, Anderson is helped out by an extraordinary ensemble. Murray is at his droll best, and the chemistry shared between him and onscreen wife (the everwonderful Frances McDormand) is so natural it’s hard to believe they have yet to be paired. Edward Norton plays the troop leader of Sam’s boy scout outfit, and he is charismatic and well-suited for an Anderson film. The real standouts here are the children and Bruce Willis. Both Gilman and Hayward are cinematic newbies, but you wouldn’t know it. They both bring an astonishing level of maturity that makes it easier for audiences to relate. And Willis, an actor that one would not so readily associate with Wes Anderson, is the emotional heavyweight of the film, and he handles this role with a finesse rarely seen in his filmography heretofore.

Ultimately, the film relies on Anderson however. The acclaimed filmmaker has long been a cult favorite, and has delivered a bevy of films adored by college undergrads pursuing degrees in the liberal arts and their professors. He has yet to achieve real mainstream success. Judging by the box office statistics, this is the closest he has come, because this time Anderson has touched on themes more universal to the human experience: Childhood innocence and love. And just like he has tackled previous themes, he does so adeptly with "Moonrise Kingdom."

Zack Mandell is a movie enthusiast, writer of movie reviews, and owner of www.movieroomreviews.com which has great information on actors such as Bill Murray. He writes extensively about the movie industry for sites such as Gossip Center, Yahoo, NowPublic, and Helium.

Movie Review: BATMAN FOREVER (1995) Starring Val Kilmer

Following the success of the recent Batman movies and a superhero poll I ran here over a year ago now, the other night I saw that Batman Forever was on TV, I’ll be honest it’s a movie that’s never really interested me, I may have seen the two originals starring Michael Keaton but I can’t really remember. Anyway I decided that since the Olympics is hogging so much of the schedule (rightly so) and there is very little on TV I may as well take a look at this and compare it to the more recent Dark Knight movies, turns out there is nothing to compare other than character names as Batman Forever would join my personal list of the worst movies I have ever seen.

Starring: Val Kilmer, Tommy Lee Jones, Jim Carrey, Nicole Kidman, Chris O’Donnell and Drew Barrymore

The Plot

Are you ready? This is all pretty cheesy, but basically Two-Face (Jones) formerly Harvey Dent believes Batman is responsible for causing a court room incident which caused a whole side of his face to become disfigured, for this Two-Face unleashes his very own reign of terror upon Gotham City, it’s not long before Two-Face is joined by The Riddler (Carrey) a former employee of Bruce Wayne and a computer genius who has created a way of extracting information form the Human brain whilst they are watching TV. The Riddler teams up with Two-Face to bring Batman down whilst he is busy getting to grips with Dr Meridian (Kidman), luckily for Batman former circus performer Robin the Boy Wonder is there to help out.

The Verdict

First off I’m wondering just how they got so many big names involved in this movie, I mean the guys and girls mentioned above are not amateurs, Val Kilmer is a great actor along with Tommy Lee Jones, it could be argued that Jim Carrey was probably still up and coming at this point and then Nicole Kidman (married to Tom Cruise around then, I think) what was she doing here, I’m pretty sure they must look back now and think what was I doing? Drew Barrymore was also in the movie, although I can’t remember seeing her and let’s be honest this would have been the big time for Chris O’Donnell.

I laughed at this a lot, not because it was funny, no, no. It was just so ridiculous. I think maybe having seen the more recent Batman Offerings before this one has really given me to much expectation to be lived up to in these prior movies, but you know what? I don't care because those more recent updates are far superior to this junk, I kept watching for two reasons. One, lets see how stupid this movie is, incredibly stupid actually and two, to write this review.

Chris O'Donnel doing martial arts whilst doing some laundry, so corny I almost switched off at this point, although his laundry skills are actually better than his martial art ones, pretending to be Batman to Dr Meridian "wait doesn't Batman ever kiss the girl?" How cheesy? Just then the real Batman turns up and he's pissed (not literally), his car has just been jacked by some Boy Wonder named Robin, "holy rusted metal batman" come on give me a break, on the next punch I was expecting "BANG" or "WALLOP" to appear on my screen in a purple speech bubble. Batman Forever is so fake and comic book like its difficult to take seriously, yeah I know the new ones are comic book like too but at least we get a degree of realism, some decent action, and actors who luckily have had a decent script penned for them.

I read that the best thing about this movie is probably Jim Carrey as The Riddler, he's the most eccentric one without doubt but his performance is nowhere near as good as Jack Nicholson's or the far superior Oscar winning Heath Ledgers, for me in Batman Forever Jim Carrey is just Jim Carrey, he does what you expect Carrey to do, it's no different from watching Ace Ventura. Don't get me wrong I like Jim Carrey, I think he's a funny guy, but I prefer it when he's a little more serious, ludicrous when I'm about to say that I enjoy him in movies like Bruce Almighty because it's not serious, it does of course have a serious message behind it but that's not the case in Batman Forever, funny voices are one thing but keep them for the right type of movie.

On the research for this movie I noticed that there is a character named Bane, I presume that is the same bad guy from the latest offering of The Dark Knight Rises, if so then in the older movies people find out who Batman is (George Clooney by that point), I’m wondering if that reveal is in the updated Nolan version.

The Music

The music score is provided by Bono and his pals from U2, who in my opinion fit right in with this movie seeing as they are completely shit.

Would I watch it Again

Just in case the 700 or so words you have just read didn’t quite get my point across then the answer is a definite NO.

Movie Review: EDGE OF DARKNESS Starring Mel Gibson

You wouldn’t believe it but I’ve actually wanted to see Edge of Darkness since its release back in 2010, at the time I thought it looked like a pretty slick action movie which saw Gibson back to his Lethal Weapon days. That’s not really what I got here, Gibson now looks old and if I’m honest I think his off camera efforts are a lot better than his ones in front. BBC have been broadcasting the Olympics so there hasn’t been a whole lot else on TV this week, then just after Usain Bolt won the 100m final by a street they decided to air this another movie late on a Sunday night.

Starring: Mel Gibson, Ray Winstone, Bojana Novakovic, Danny Huston and Shawn Roberts

The Plot

Gibson plays Detective Thomas Craven, a cop who plays by the rules until his activist daughter Emma (Novakovic)) is shot and killed right in front of him. From there Craven doesn’t give a s*!t anymore and makes it his mission to break as many rules as possible whilst uncovering just what his daughter was onto, he quickly discovers that her murder was to do with a conspiracy from a secretive government department who are funded by the US to make weapons, however they are also selling them to the enemy on the side. Not only did Emma know about this but she was actively involved.

The Verdict

I was just board really, nothing more I can say. Edge of Darkness is trying to be some kind of super cool government conspiracy thriller, it fails to do that almost entirely and in my opinion if its conspiracy that your after then there are a lot better options than this, some of which I have already reviewed. I felt no emotional attachment to characters at all, not even Craven himself, I ended up just watching this (whilst nodding in and out of consciousness) to see how the conspiracy ended and for the sake of this review.

For me if Edge of Darkness does anything well it’s the actors themselves, we know that Gibson is brilliant and has been for maybe the last 30 years, he is good here and weight is definitely added to scenes which involve him. However, it’s British actor Ray Winstone who probably impressed me most, he plays “Edinburgh”, an agent working for himself seemingly, and he hires himself out to the highest bidder, usually secretive government departments and “cleans up” evidence. Although I thought his mission would be to kill Tomas Craven, he actually turns out to help him, as long as Craven doesn’t arrest anyone and cause a public nuisance for North Moor.

I never managed to catch the original BBC series that this movie is adapted from but from what I’m lead to believe the movie really suffers from being to short, offering no real justice to just how good the original was, not like Hollywood to go do that eh. The original had a supernatural element to it in which Craven’s daughter visited him from the afterlife, that doesn’t happen here, although he does hear her voice, but it comes with no real weight behind it. I won’t spoil the ending just in case you do want to watch it following this but that’s the only point where supernatural comes into Edge of Darkness and your pretty much left to make up your own mind.

Summing it up I didn’t enjoy this movie at all, it tries to be dark and edgy and at times it’s a little edgy, it’s pretty much dark all the time, oh and some one should have a word with the sound engineer as this movie is way to quiet, even with the TV extremely loud. All in all Edge of Darkness won't have you on the edge of your seat.

The Music

Terrible I’m afraid, the music score is provided by George and Ira Gershwin (I had to look that up) and is mostly featured during the dark gritty or action sequences, I found it old fashioned, failing to add any intensity at all.

Would I watch it again?

Nope, I don’t think I will, although I would say that seeing Mel Gibson back doing this type of thing wasn’t all bad and his latest offering of Get The Gringo is still something I would like to see at some point.

Movie Review: CONTRABAND Starring Mark Wahlberg

My latest LoveFilm rental’s arrived earlier this week and luckily for you guys their selections of Bad Teacher starring Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz and Hall Pass starring Owen Wilson and Ed Helms both didn’t work, faulty discs apparently. How’s that lucky for you? Well I had been out and bought myself Mark Wahlberg’s Contraband on Blu-ray, had the other discs worked then I’m sure my wife would have choose one of those movies over this one, however on saying that she did enjoy this and even admitted it when it finished.

Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Kate Beckinsale, Ben Foster, Lukas Haas, Giovanni Ribisi and Caleb Landry Jones

The Plot

Wahlberg plays Chris Faraday, a former Contraband smuggler who left the business, went legit, got married and had a couple of kids. His young brother-in-law Andy (Caleb Landry Jones) is still in the business and has got in with the local drug dealer Briggs (Giovanni Ribisi), Andy is smuggling drugs from Panama when their ship is boarded by customs and he has to dump “the package”. Andy is promptly beaten up for his efforts and now owes money to Briggs, he is going to run but Chris agrees to do one last run in order to clear the debt.

The Verdict

I have to say I was pretty impressed with Contraband, yeah it’s predictable and you kind of guess what’s going to happen within the first thirty minutes but I really enjoyed this. Mark Wahlberg was brilliant and his backing cast (including his real life brother Robert Wahlberg) were also brilliant. Contraband is kind of like Gone in 60 Seconds in story but the smuggling of the counterfeit currency and or drugs adds a little more danger to the situations for me, and let’s face it at half Nicholas Cage’s age (and a lot better actor) Mark Wahlberg kicks a whole lot more ass.

From the start this was pretty much action all the way, it hardly comes up for breath, kind of like Wahlberg’s Shooter another fast paced actioner. If I had one complaint about Contraband it would be at times it was very dark and difficult to see faces, I don’t mind so much as I think it sets the tone of a dirty world of smuggling but I’m sure they could have lightened it up a little, quite surprising really when I was watching this on Blu-ray. The scenes I’m referring to tended to be the attempts at drama between Wahlberg and his wife played by Kate Beckinsale, but what was brilliant was how well the picture came through on ariel shots of New Orleans and it’s shipping yards, in full 1080i they looked and felt brilliant.

I’ve seen a review which didn’t give Kate Beckinsale much of a write up for her efforts in Contraband but I would have to disagree, she’s a pretty tough cookie and although she wasn’t playing that type of role in this movie she managed to hold her own against Ben Foster and Giovanni Ribisi who are both strong gangster type characters in every movie they have starred in. Admittedly, Beckinsale really didn’t have all that much to do until a twist is revealed about an hour in, but when it came to it she was very impressive. I also really like Giovanni Ribisi (Phobe’s brother in Friends and also starred in Gone in 60 Seconds) but my one complaint of him during this movie would be his voice, for me he really didn’t come across as a psychotic drug dealer and Wahlberg kicked his ass every time they had a fight

I’m also a big fan of Ben Foster, who I have previously reviewed in The Mechanic with Jason Statham and Rampart with Woody Harrelson, second to Mark Wahlberg he is the guy who helped add Contraband’s intensity. Contraband is essentially the Mark Wahlberg show but the others done well, a predictable but enjoyable action movie which at 1 hour and 49 minutes running time is just perfect.

Would I watch it again?

Totally, this is a movie that you can watch time and time again and still get the same amount of enjoyment out of it.